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Stigmatizing Child Abusers Masks True Soruce of the Problem
By Martin Espinoza and Remi Newman, Pacific News Service, June 21, 2001

Sexual abuse of children is widely considered among the most heinous of crimes, and some recent court decisions are designed to identify and shame those convicted of such a crime. But in fact, most child sexual abuse begins within -- and is often hidden by -- the family, and reflects a powerful contradiction in the way we treat our children. PNS commentator Martin Espinoza is a freelance writer who spent the last three years in Guanajuato, Mexico. Remi Newman recently received a Masters degree in sex education from New York University.

You've probably seen those "Baby Onboard" safety signs on cars -- or the slightly bizarre "Child in Trunk" variation.

Well, Judge J. Manuel Banales of Corpus Christi, Texas, recently came up with an idea for a variation of the sign you're not likely to find at Target or Kmart. It reads, "Danger -- Registered Sex Offender In Vehicle."

Last May, Banales ordered 14 convicted sex offenders to post these signs on whatever car they may be in. He also ordered them to post similar signs on their front lawns. This not only warns people that a sex offender lives in their midst, it includes a phone number to call to report "suspicious behavior."

Lawyers representing the 14 claim the court order endangers their lives and the lives of their families. It is a form of branding, they argue, and constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.

But Banales defended his measure on Ted Koppel's Nightline. "The whole idea," he said, "is to protect the community, protect the children, and if targeting these offenders is what's necessary, then that's what we'll have to do."

Following the show, one viewer posted this message on Nightline's website: "There is only one place that these monsters will go to and it won't be to heaven sitting with our almighty God! A child molester is doomed to eternal damnation!"

Many people find child sexual abuse the vilest of crimes. But what happens when the sex offender is a father, brother, uncle, or friend of the family?

This is not an idle question -- in most cases of child sexual abuse, the perpetrator is a relative or a family friend or acquaintance. At least 70 percent of those who commit sex crimes against children are either a parent or family relative, according to U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

But statistics can never be more than an indication of the problem, because most incidents of sexual abuse -- particularly within a family -- go unreported. Indeed, the abuse often becomes "our little secret" between victim and perpetrator.

Victims say nothing because they fear for their own safety or for causing a painful disruption in the family. And some say nothing for fear of being stigmatized and even blamed -- in too many cases, shame and secrecy enforce a pact of silence.

The idea that most sex predators are perverted strangers, single men likely to move into the neighborhood, is a popular myth that distracts us from confronting the real issues behind non-standard sexual behavior.

We live in a society where sexuality is little more than a commodity -- a commodity whose value goes up as more guilt is associated with it. And though we talk about coming a long way since the repressive 1950s, the truth is we may not be as sexually healthy and mature as we think we are.

For example, some of our taboos lead us to repress normal expressions of childhood sexuality. A parent who punishes a child for masturbating my have the best intentions, yet such punishment prevents normal and necessary sexual development.

In his book "Sin, Science, and the Sex Police," noted sexologist Dr. John Money notes that these taboos in effect try to wipe out in children acts and attitudes that are thought normal and necessary among adults. In other words, we teach our children that sexual expression is shameful, and then expect them to magically unlearn that overnight when they reach adulthood.

When they don't, our strong culture of sexual shame is likely to manifest itself in unhealthy and even abusive urges or behavior. Some researchers argue child molestation should be treated as a public health issue, not as an isolated expression of a few individuals' psychoses. This could remove the stigma associated with child sexual abuse and allow us to examine its causes. Then we could focus on developing preventative measures, as well as therapy and education for both perpetrators and survivors of sexual abuse.

As it stands now, childhood sexuality is such a forbidden subject -- even the few researchers willing to take it on can find little funding for their work. It is clearly easier to single out and criminalize a few "perverted" strangers than it is to face the prevalence and nature of child sexual abuse.

Branding sex offenders may conceivably keep 14 people in Texas from committing future child sexual abuse. It will do little to help the thousands of victims whose abusers are trusted family members or friends.

In fact, such harsh punitive measures may push this issue further underground, leaving intact -- perhaps strengthening -- the underlying shame and guilt that dominates our sexual development and leads to abusive behavior.


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