Rising youth incarceration rates in California have prompted a debate over what it takes to turn young lives around. The voices not heard from are those of the youthful offenders themselves. Lance Bon, 17, wrote this piece while incarcerated in San Francisco's juvenile hall. Bon is on the staff of YO! (Youth Outlook), a newspaper by and about Bay Area youth produced by Pacific News Service.

I am a 17-year-old hardhead who has only recently become aware of who he is. I am a detainee at the San Francisco's juvenile hall. I was forcefully brought here by the police. But I made this my future by trying to be someone I am not.

You see, I have always been a pretty insecure person. I never liked myself very much. I was not good at sports, I was overweight, and I was constantly putting myself down and being put down by my peers.

Another reason I felt bad about myself was being raised in group homes from five to 12 years old. I somehow convinced myself that the reason I was not living at home was that there was something wrong with me. For the majority of my life, I wished I was a completely different person.

One thing I feel got me on the road to being a criminal was my desire to be tough. When I was about 13, I started hanging out with some people who were into stealing and other things of that nature. Being the insecure person that I was, I went out of my way to do the things they did, so I could impress them. One of these things was fighting. It started with jumping people we didn't like and moved on to one-on-one fights with adult males. I was a big kid, and adults didn't hesitate to fight me. After a while I became pretty happy with the image I was taking on.

About a year later I got involved with a group that was ten times worse than the previous one -- at least in the eyes of my mother and the law. In my eyes it was much better, because being seen with these individuals and doing the things they did would definitely get me some respect. This lifestyle made me feel tough and ruthless, like a criminal -- which I am not. At least not by nature.

It felt good to be someone I was not. But I didn't know that no matter how tough and ruthless I became, I was nothing but a coward. I was afraid of the ""straight" world -- of things such as work, school, and obeying the law. I was afraid of having the gangsta reputation I'd spent so long earning replaced with names like ""square" or ""sucka." I was afraid to face the unknown, and the unknown was nothing more than the real me.

The real me. The one with the weight problem that would vanish as soon as puberty kicked in. The one with amazing artistic abilities. The one who is really just fine without being looked at as a tough guy. The one who is just as good as anyone else. Me! The real McCoy

To tell you the truth, I am very thankful that I got locked up, because jail is where I realized that all I need to be is myself. Jail is where I discovered that I love to read (which I never did on the outs). Jail is where I was thrown in a cell by myself without marijuana, alcohol or the madness of the streets to cloud my mind. Jail is where I discovered I had a true friend to rely on: myself.

For those of you out there who are still scared to face the unknown -- whether it be yourself, mainstream society, school or your own emotions -- you don't have to fear it. You just have to get off your ass and explore it.

Take a bus to an area where people work and obey the law and carry themselves with dignity. Ask questions if you want to. And if that's not enough, read some books. Find some new friends, including yourself. Then maybe you won't have to get locked up to discover what already lies within your own heart, mind and soul.