The prognosis for at least one teenage wannabe valentine this year is not good. Caught in a twisted whirlpool of love, he can't show affection without being labeled a "captain". But if girls view him as a "playa," his chances of romance are nil. PNS commentator Billy Pascual, 17, is reporter for YO! (Youth Outlook), a newspaper by and about Bay Area teens produced by Pacific News Service.

Attractive, smart, sensitive, funny, strong, playful -- all attributes that should make a female happy in a boyfriend. All (or most...) attributes that I possess. Yet after a couple of years of trying, I've concluded that it is hard to find that significant other who will single-handedly bring me love and happiness. As Valentine's Day creeps closer and closer, I find myself tortured by nightmares in which I spend a lovely evening with my brothers on February 14.

Why can't I find that special girl that I can bring home to mommy? As I questioned my own manhood, I started noticing that I am not the only one with this love dilemma. In fact, I see it everywhere on the teenage scene. I began to analyze this adolescent love drought, and certain patterns emerged.

One major love-blocker I noticed is the male obsession with maintaining a macho image. In the old days, you might see a guy throw his jacket over a puddle so his female companion could cross as a sign of romance and affection. Nowadays, the guy would push the girl into the puddle to show he cared.

A modern guy has to uphold his macho pimp image, and if anyone saw him showing genuine affection to a girl, he would be ridiculed by being called "sprung" or a "captain." The most captain-like thing a guy can do is buy girls stuff. That deed alone will leave his image scarred for life. Being cool is more important to most guys than having a girl, so they keep to a minimum the amount of affection they dispense.

This behavior triggers a cycle of lowered expectations. Females encounter a couple of guys portraying themselves as pimps, macks and hustlers, and just assume that's how all guys are. I myself have been branded with the word "playa," scrawled over my name and phone number in the address books of girls who know me. In reality, I'm more of a puppy dog. But, because of rumors, females keep their distance.

Females put up their guard at the first sight of any guy known as a player--even a guy like me! Seeing the front a girl puts up -- but not necessarily what's behind it -- we move on and forget about her, even though, with effort, we might have had a chance.

Another problem arises when a male sees a couple of females portraying themselves as "freaks," and starts assuming that's how all girls are. No guy would want to stay faithful to a freak, because he thinks he'll get played himself, so he fools around himself to beat her to the punch -- thus becoming that pimp mack hustler that females are trying to avoid.

This is the twisted whirlpool of love we teenagers are caught in. I myself have slipped into this dreadful trap, and when I reach for a girl's hand to pull me out, I somehow slip (or get pushed) back in again and again.

So, you fine ladies out there, as you may have figured out by now, I'm going to be available for that special day -- February 14. When amour is in the air. When anything is possible. And when Cupid, looking down at the world of teen lovers, falls off his cloud in uncontrollable laughter.