Historically mothers have gotten most of the blame when things go wrong with their children, and very little recognition when things go well. Now, the notion that it takes a village to raise a child, though well intended, again makes the role of mothering invisible, argues Grace Manning-Orenstein, Ph.D., a family therapist in Albany, California. THIS IS THE FIRST OF TWO ARTICLE ON MOTHERS DAY. SEE "PNS-MOM"

ALBANY, CA. -- I'm a mother. I love mothers. But we just don't get a break.

From time immemorial, we have been idealized as nurturers and protectors of our young -- and, almost in the same breath vilified as the source of our children's -- hence society's -- problems.

As a family therapist, I have often had reason to ponder this irony. Mothers in the abstract can do no wrong, but in real life it's as though we can't do anything right.

Mothers are told they are deeply wise, but they are also given all kinds of advice, some of it deplorable. In the 1920s, John Watson, a famous pioneer in the psychology of motherhood, advised mothers not to pick up their crying babies and concluded that children should be raised according to scientific principles. Sigmund Freud wrote mothers off. "It makes no difference whether a child has really sucked the breast or... never enjoyed the tenderness of a mother's care .... development takes the same path in both cases. "

Traditionally, the great men of psychology second-guessed mothers, not only saying we don't count, but that we actually hinder our children's development.

Mothers are still being written off today. Modern medicine, liberal government, even old-guard feminism continue to see motherhood as menial, sending the implicit message that mothers are blue collar labor, not the leading authorities on the topic.

It seems at times the whole country is in cahoots to marginalize us -- led by the claims that "a village" can do the job. With all respect to Hillary Clinton, why make mothers invisible again Why have the village help a mother raise a child?

As we give mothers their ounce of recognition this Mother's Day, let us reflect upon how our views of motherhood are incorporated into policy.

Our nation sets a low standard for child care. We still think of mothering as unskilled labor, paid sweatshop wages. Mothers are still expected to turn their children over to inadequate care -givers. In 1995, the Labor Department found that 56 percent of mothers with children under the age of five identified finding affordable child care as a serious problem.

Even in childbirth, our society continues to slight mother's know-how in favor of doctor's orders to induce labor, implant fetal monitors, and perform Cesarean sections.

My own research has shown that a mother who is listened to, respected, and encouraged as an authority as legitimate as her doctor, will be less rejecting and helpless with her new baby -- a measurable effect that can color relationships throughout life.

This makes sense. Pregnancy prepares us with innate knowledge that suits us to become mothers. During pregnancy, we begin to read our baby's behavior in the uterus, and we continue with this intuitive knowledge long after the baby is born. As mothers, we are biologically more motivated -- and more suited -- than anybody else, even fathers, to raise our children.

This ought to serve as a signal to society that mothers should be supported ---instead, we are made to feel unnecessary.

Perhaps this isn't fashionable thinking at the moment. Perhaps some will say I am ignoring the importance of fathers, or exaggerating the difficulties of motherhood.

But I say enough is enough. Stop mouthing slogans. Put money into child care, and family leave. Provide us with the best so that we can bring up our children with the devoted authority they need for healthy development. Help us do what most of us mothers are deeply motivated to do well -- raise our children.