The brutal murder of a gay man in Colorado last October brought denunciation from almost all elements of the community, including organized religion. However, since that time churches have been, for the most part, silent on the issue -- a silence which has been the rule for too long, according to PNS commentator Dave Cullen. Cullen is a Colorado-based novelist, currently writing "In A Boy's Dream," a memoir.

FT. COLLINS, CO -- It was better just after the murder, appalling as that may sound.

For a week or two after pictures of Matthew Shepard splashed across the media, it seemed our churches might just support loving all thy neighbors.

That moment passed. As Russell Henderson stands trial for Shepard's murder, the landscape is largely unchanged. In the five months in between, hate crimes legislation has gone down to defeat again in Wyoming and Colorado, another gay has been murdered in Alabama, gay bashings continues. Where are all the churches now?

The Christians -- what are they doing? Few congregations ever ventured beyond denouncing the act. Ministers and churches -- some churches -- led the civil rights movement. Where are they now?

Last October, just four days before Shepard's battered body arrived at the local hospital, I was canvassing door to door in Ft. Collins. We had two gay rights measures on the ballot banning discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodation and they were stirring up a lot of anger -- attack ads in The Coloradan, literature strewn all over town warning of pedophilia, polygamy and the end of Free Speech as we know it.

Opponents of the ordinances called themselves the "No Special Rights Committee." Special rights? What's so special about a job and an apartment? About holding hands with your boyfriend without getting beat up?

The bridge-club lady stung the most. She was so sweet, bursting with love for a stranger at the front porch. She swung the door open with a warm, welcoming smile: "Well hello there!" Bouffant hairdo and pearls, so gracious -- until she saw my pamphlet. "Oh. I'm actually against that." She backed up, slid the door closed.

I just stood there, staring into the dried wreath. I know I'm not supposed to take it personally, but how can I not? The sweet old granny says she's against it? Against me having an equal shot at a job or a home?

It's tough, I know, for a lot of ministers, bishops, popes. I don't envy their position. So many interpretations of the Bible, some believe homosexuality is a sin, although no one claims Jesus ever mentioned it. It's a hard row for those ministers, standing up for a persecuted group without appearing to condone the behavior. But isn't "a hard row" at the center of their job description?

It wasn't Westboro Baptist Church picketing Matthew Shepard's funeral that disturbed me, it's the Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family, the Roman Catholic Church: a constant chorus of rebuke and denunciation, an age-old history of repudiation. They might not see it as hate, but how do their congregations interpret it? Is it any surprise to find so many Christians who see us as sick, sex-crazed scum, intent on infecting their children?

The defense du jour among vocal anti-gay Christians is to disavow the slightest hostility toward gays -- "We don't hate gays. We love the sinner, hate the sin." How come I'm not picking up on any of this love? I certainly feel the hate barrage, but where are all the acts of love?

A fifty-fifty love/hate balance in the sermons -- for the sinner, against the sin -- would seem like an absolute minimum for Christ's messengers of love. How about starting with small steps, like maybe just one positive mention this year?

How many ministers out there have ever spoken out for us? About the good things we've done, about the crimes committed against us -- the FBI compiled a thousand hate crimes in 1996 involving sexual orientation. How many got a mention on Sunday?

What's the chance Russell Henderson or Aaron McKinney, the young men charged with the murder, ever heard a clergyman make a positive statement about a gay guy? Even if our churches aren't contributing to the problem, how are they part of the solution?

The so-called "gay agenda" is nothing more than a struggle by a small, unpopular minority to be treated justly and compassionately, maybe even loved by their fellow man. Sounds a lot like the agenda laid down in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. So where are all the churches now?