Only 26 percent of American households are made up of married couples with children according to a recent University of Chicago survey -- a steep drop from the 45 percent in the early 1970s. When asked how they viewed marriage, most youth reporters for PNS' YO! newspaper noted that they had no role models for married life in their own childhoods. Nevertheless, most young people we asked still "dare to dream" they will get married. Here are two essays by YO! reporters on how they imagine marriage. Amber Powers is a 16 year old high school student living in Mendon, Mass. Stanley Joseph, a 25 year old Haitian-Afro American, is a founding editor of YO! and a senior at San Francisco State University.

A DAUGHTER OF DIVORCE DARES TO DREAM

BY AMBER POWERS

MENDON, MASS. -- When I was in kindergarten there was this handsome boy named Ryan. All of the girls would chase him around the playground until it was time to go back into the classroom. One day while I was underneath the swing set, Ryan came up to me and asked me to marry him. All the girls in my grade were very jealous of me because they wanted to marry Ryan themselves.

I remember that he gave me a 25-cent ring from a bubble gum machine. I was so happy. That day, Ryan and I became married underneath the swing set.

I ran home that day and told my older sister what had happened. She laughed and told me that the marriage was not legal. I cried for hours, even though I did not know what "legal" meant. I just knew that what had happened under the swing set was not real. I do not know why I wanted our marriage to be real -- maybe because I liked having all the other girls jealous of me.

That was years ago and marriage then was just a game. Now I see marriage as more of a moral thing that people do when they get older. My definition of marriage is a close and intimate relationship in which two people decide to live together and share responsibilities of everyday life. What makes a marriage is commitment and love for each other.

My family disagrees with my definition. However, the people who tell me that I am wrong have been married quite a few times. My mother has been married three times and my father twice.

It seems like nowadays people just get married for the heck of it. It is sad because almost every adult I know has been through a divorce, or maybe two or three divorces. What ever happened to working things out? The reason it is sad is that they spent all of those years building a life together and now they have to start over and build a new life.

A few years ago, I decided that I would never get married. I did not want to go through all of the pain that people I knew had experienced. Marriage was like a joke, nothing but a piece of paper. I wondered why people did not just live together and save the cost of all those weddings and divorces.

Besides, the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone -- picking up after him, cooking and cleaning -- seemed very dull. Also, I am not a good cook. I am the one who would burn lettuce. Maybe if I ever do get married, I should marry a chef.

Recently, I've started to think that I really would like to be married someday. The idea of being alone my whole life has started to seem even duller than the thought of being married just for companionship.

I've dreamed of being married to the perfect guy who never did anything wrong. But the reality is that there is no perfect marriage and I will never have a relationship with no problems. However, we can work together to have the best marriage that there could possibly be. That would be a marriage where the two people talk about their problems and try to work things out, do things together and help each other out with everyday life.

I am still young and have many years of living before I make a decision to get married. I think that because of the role models I have had I will definitely have to think about whether or not I really want to get married to the person who kneels down and asks me. I do not want to be married more than once because I do not want to be like my parents.

Sometimes I still think about my first wedding, the one I had with Ryan underneath the swing set. I wonder where he is now and whether he remembers me. I also wonder what ever happened to that 25 cent ring.

ALWAYS A GROOMSMAN, NEVER A GROOM

BY STANLEY JOSEPH

SAN FRANCISCO -- In between talk of college classes and making plans to hang out next weekend, more and more of my twenty-something friends are interjecting something new -- "I'm getting married."

It's one thing when a friend says he's planning on shacking up with his girlfriend. The responsibility of a common-law relationship doesn't compare to the weight of one that's sealed with a ring. Once I hear a relationship has reached that status, I know it's time to find a bunch of new friends -- single ones.

This conclusion is reinforced whenever I hang out with my married friends. Men who once stayed out until three in the morning now call their wives at seven and have to be home before midnight. The loss of freedom, the demand for accountability, turn me off to marriage. Wasn't it just yesterday I celebrated turning 18? I look at these friends and see that they're married to their moms -- "We're at the mall right now," or "I'll be home in one hour." I didn't like checking in during high school and I don't see myself doing it any time soon.

Yet the pressure is on. I've already been a groomsman at two weddings and next January I'll be the best man at another. It's stressful to have friends who are married because they never fail to rub it in your face. The majority are quick to mention how much better their lives have become since they settled down, how much a man they feel like for taking such a huge step and how much joy they'll have for me once I'm in a solid relationship. The one thing that keeps me sane is remembering the saying, "Misery loves company."

I have to confess that there is something even more frightening to me about marriage than the loss of freedom. My fear is that I'll become my father -- a man who was so disenchanted with his wife and kids that he abandoned them for the single life again. When I look back at my parents' marriage, I realize how unhappy my dad was. He worked extra hours or went off to visit relatives just to avoid his family. The times that he was home he wasn't a father but a monster -- always pissed off. However, I did notice that he had a personality whenever he took us with him to see his friends and relatives. He would laugh, joke and express his opinions about current events.

I don't want to do the same things to my wife and kids. If the sins of the father are passed on to the son, then I don't want to be married.

But I do want to have kids. Watching my friends with their sons and daughters makes me realize how much I want to see a little Stanley take his first step, go to school and start work. It's a motivation to live for a better world, instead of living selfishly. A lot of people won't admit it, but men too have a clock that is ticking, and though it may not be biological, it is just as insistent as women's.

I remember a recent conversation with my friend Donna. She expressed to me that it doesn't matter how much money a man has or how good his job is if he's over 30 and has never been married. Then something is wrong with him. I took her words to heart. Despite how I feel now, I do wonder what will happen to me if I don't get married by 30. Of course men think about marriage as much as women do -- after all, we're the ones who are going to marry them.

Call my fears "issues" or tell me I have a case of cold feet, but it's still going to be a while before I join the ranks of the wedded. Heck, it will probably take a while for me to have a solid relationship with a girlfriend.